


ah, live-in

by jjingobingo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Implied Mpreg, Insecurity, Live-in Partner, M/M, Mild Smut, mentions of mpreg, tagalog fic
Language: Filipino
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25569244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjingobingo/pseuds/jjingobingo
Summary: akala ni kyungsoo magiging madali sa kanya ang bago nilang set-up ng boyfriend nyang si jongin.and that one time na nag-180 degrees ang sitwasyon nung nag-breakdown si kyungsoo because of insecurities.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 12
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello nandito na naman ako! sana magustuhan nyo! 
> 
> base ito sa aking [tweet](https://twitter.com/baekaeri06/status/1285534953057337344). hindi sya mawala sa isip ko kaya i wrote it huhu. sana magustuhan nyo! happy reading~

isang dampi ng halik ang naramdaman ni kyungsoo bago pa nya maidilat ang mga mata. kanina pa sya gising mula sa lagaslas ng tubig hanggang sa kaluskos at kalansing ng mga kung ano. 

  
pinilit nyang buksan ang mga mata para hanapin ang live-in partner nyang si jongin. 

  
"good morning, matulog ka pa. it's only 7 in the morning." sabi ng boyfriend nyang nakapostura. slacks na pantalon at polong asul, naka-gel ang buhok at mukhang ready na umalis. 

  
"papasok ka na?" groggy na tanong ni kyungsoo habang kinakapa ang salamin. nang masuot ito, he scanned jongin's get up. now na malinaw na ang paningin, mas lalo lang nyang na-appreciate ang porma ng boyfriend. hindi ito mukhang university instructor kundi isang businessman na aattend sa isang meeting. ilang estudyante na kaya ang nag-laway at patuloy na nagnanasa sa boyfriend nya habang nagtuturo?

  
"yup. flag ceremony at 8 and then meeting at 9." kyungsoo groaned at jongin's schedule. bukod pa doon ang mga klase na kailangan nitong puntahan. 

  
"nag-breakfast ka ba? i'll get you a coffee, sandali..." kahit na hindi naman sya sanay gumamit ng coffeemaker. wala, bida-bida lang sya. nakabangon na si kyungsoo, palabas na sana sya ng kwarto nila pero pinigilan sya ni jongin at ikinulong sa bisig. ramdam ni kyungsoo ang well-built nitong katawan under his blue polo shirt pati na rin ang warmth na hatid ni jongin sa sarili nyang katawan. it's just sad na mukhang nagmamadali si jongin, he could have asked for a few minutes of make-out and blow job. 

  
"no need na, matulog ka na lang ulit. i know you're still adjusting sa sleeping pattern mo." 

  
"but--" kyungsoo pouted. 

  
"huwag na makulit, babe." putol ni jongin bago sya gawaran ng halik sa pisngi. "i have to go na." 

  
"hatid na lang kita sa kotse." offer ni kyungsoo pero umiling lang si jongin sabay ngiti. mas lalo lang humaba ang nguso ni kyungsoo nang hilahin sya ni jongin pabalik sa kama para mahiga. 

  
"go catch some sleep, puyat ka kagabi diba?" kyungsoo burried himself under the blanket before nodding. he gave jongin one last tug to kiss him on both cheeks and lips. 

  
kyungsoo sighed heavily nang makalabas na si jongin ng bedroom nila. namamahay kasi sya. it's like, the bed, the house, the atmosphere was new to him kahit na makailang beses na sya nag-sleepover dito at higit pa sa pagtulog ang ginagawa nila ni jongin. it has been a solid 2 weeks magmula noong _ibahay_ sya ni jongin. he suddenly asked to move in with him right after nya mag-resign sa call center na pinapasukan. 

  
jongin did not really mind, ito pa nga ang mapilit na magsama na sila sa apartment nito. as for kyungsoo, akala nya madali, akala nya okay sya dahil may mga times na dito talaga sya umuuwi from work pero hindi pa rin pala. kinikilig pa sya nung una. feeling excited dahil pagmulat nya, si jongin agad ang bubungad sa kanya. they got to do things nang sabay. nasosolo nila ang isa't isa kahit kailan nila gusto.

  
 _"para palagi na tayong magkasama."_ katwiran ni jongin noong i-open up nya ang live-in topic. 

  
he knew naman na medyo sabik din si jongin sa kanya dahil madalas wala si kyungsoo sa gabi, nagtatrabaho at turn naman ni jongin kumayod sa umaga to teach his college students. 

  
the problem was him talaga. hirap sya makapag-adjust. akala nya ganoon lang kasimple na tumira sa iisang bahay lalo na't wala naman syang alam kung hindi kumain, matulog at mag-netflix. isa syang malaking palamunin ni jongin which made him feel pressured na maghanap na ng new work para naman hindi sya masabihang pabigat ng future in-laws nya. oo, _advance_ mag-isip. minsan nakakaramdam sya ng guilt kasi si jongin lahat; yung bills, yung pang groceries, pati netflix ni kyungsoo si jongin din ang nagbabayad. hindi pa yun, si jongin din lahat ang gumagawa ng chores. 

  
wala talaga syang silbi sa relasyon na 'to. yun talaga yun.

  
hindi na sya nakatulog ulit even after umalis ni jongin. napilitan syang bumangon just to see na ang daming niluto ni jongin for breakfast alone. mas lalo lang nyang na-feel na palamunin sya. nag-init sya ng water para mag-milo then proceeded sa living to laze around. bilang _shunga_ sya sa gawaing bahay, muntik na nya makalimutan ang tubig na pinapakuluan nya. so ang ending, halos matuyo ang laman ng kettle at kalahating mug na lang ng tubig ang nainom ni kyungsoo. 

  
gusto nyang maiyak. 

* * *

>   
> **kyungsoo do:** grabe bakla i hate it here 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** ay why? labo labo na kayo ng jowa mo na binabahay ka na? omg alam mo ba na isa ang live-in na way para madetermine mo kung pweds talaga kayo magpatali sa isa't isa???? 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** oh my god tangina mo dont 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** so kung feeling mo di talaga kayo compatible sa isa't isa, baka need mo na iconsider ang life decisions nyo ng jowa mo. 
> 
> **baekhyun byun:** sayang naman yang si jongin :c 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** gaga! di ganon yung ibig kong sabihin. feeling ko kasi ang freeloader ko dito, wala pa kong work. 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** lolololol nasan na yung ksoo do na kilala kong spoiled na spoiled ng jowa nyang sobrang daks!!!! na-rak ba fb mo ha!!!! 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** gago ka ang sama mo sakin! 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** joke lang eh! pero true ba yan? u feel bad rn? 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** oo nga kasi. idk, basta nahihiya ako kay jongin. di ako sanay na pinagsisilbihan nya ako all the time. 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** luh arte nito!!!! matagal naman nang ganyan jowa mo sayo dibuh 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** oo pero nakaka overwhelm pala kapag araw araw??? dati kasi minsan lang kami mag-spend time together :( 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** hay nako baka naninibago ka lang, wag mo isipin yun. lam q naman na gg din yang jowa mo na i-spoil ka. wag mo isipin mga ganyang bagay! 

  
but kyungsoo being kyungsoo, halos maghapon nya inisip yung nararamdaman nya towards sa bago nilang set-up ni jongin to the point na nakatulog sya at di sinasadyang nag-skip sya ng meal. 

  
nagising sya halos merienda time na which signified na malapit na umuwi ang boyfriend nya from work. kumakalam na ang sikmura ni kyungsoo pero hindi naman nya alam kung ano ang pwedeng kainin. also, hindi pa rin sya naliligo. sobrang tagal nya nag-isip kung ano ba ang una nyang dapat gawin but taking a quick shower won. 

  
paglabas nya ng bathroom, deretcho sya sa kitchen para mamili ng kakainin. it's too late for heavy meals kaya naman dinampot nya ang box ng pancake. para na rin may makain si jongin after a long day of teaching. kumbaga, ito na ang way ng paglalambing ni kyungsoo sa boyfriend. 

  
it wouldn't be that hard kung susundin nya ang instructions, 'di ba? 

  
confident si kyungsoo. motivated din lalo na't iniisip nya na para kay jongin ang pancake na 'to. 

  
not until napansin nyang malabnaw yung pancake mix. he wanted it thick but when he poured the mix on the pan, sobrang thin nito dahil sobra sa tubig. 

  
he groaned in frustration. _kyungsoo, sobrang palpak mo in life. paano ka nagustuhan ni jongin!!_

  
just when he thought na it's the only thing na magiging mali, he's wrong. dahil ang pancake na palpak na nga ay nasunog pa. _putangina talaga, kyungsoo._

  
sobrang amoy sa buong bahay yung sunog na pancake. nag-panic sya, as in! nataranta sya na i-open ang exhaust fan to the point na nasagi nya ang pan at napaso sya. 

  
kyungsoo screeched when he felt the burn on his knuckle. he was on the verge of panicking and crying. gusto na lang nya i-dump lahat sa trashbin lalong-lalo na yung pancake mix na mina-mock sya. 

  
gutom na si kyungsoo. naiiyak na si kyungsoo hindi nya kayang mag-multi-task kaya mas inuna nyang umiyak while staring at the burnt and ugly pancake. 

  
"babe, what's that smell?" 

  
kyungsoo turned around, eyes bulging when he saw jongin standing behind the kitchen island na nagseseparate ng maliit nilang living room at kitchen. agad pinahid ni kyungsoo ang luha, concealing his emotions with a tight smile.

  
gusto ulit maiyak ni kyungsoo. sobrang gwapo talaga ni jongin lalo na kapag nakabihis ito for work. that or nakita nya ang pag-aalala nito sa kapalpakan na ginawa nya. mas lalo lang nyang kinwestyon kung deserve nya ba si jongin or hindi. 

  
agad lumapit si jongin sa kanya at gusto nyang magpakain sa lupa dahil sinuri pa ni jongin ang pancake na sunog, realizing na doon nanggagaling ang amoy.

  
"nagluto ka?" jongin asked, mahinahon. hindi yata kakayanin ni kyungsoo kung iba ang tonong ginamit ng boyfriend. 

  
"i--" kyungsoo sighed heavily. "ipagluluto sana kita kahit merienda lang but..." jongin remained silent. sa sobrang hiya ni kyungsoo, napayuko na lang sya. ayaw nyang makita ang disappointed na mukha ng nobyo. 

  
"sobrang hopeless ko sa pagluluto. i'm sorry i ruined your kitchen." sabi ni kyungsoo. his mood already deflated. he turned around to get the bowl and dumped it pero pinigilan sya ni jongin. 

  
"i think i can fix this..." 

  
"huh?" kyungsoo dumbly watched jongin adding another half a pack of pancake mix. kaunting halo lang at _damn_ , naging thick ito and before he knew it, nagluluto na si jongin ng pancake. 

  
oo pucha, si jongin ang nagluto na syang kagagaling lang sa trabaho habang sya na maghapong tulog at puro kapalpakan lang ang alam ay nakaupo sa dining chair, kumakalam ang sikmura.

  
kyungsoo wanted to curse himself for being stupid. 

* * *

  
"sarap?" tanong ni jongin habang kumakain sya ng pancake. nakaakbay ito sa kanya habang marahan na hinihimas ang kanyang leeg. 

  
tumango si kyungsoo at pumiraso sa pancake to feed jongin. he leaned closer to steal a kiss from his boyfriend, even tasted the condensed milk on the latter's lip. "sorry..." kyungsoo muttered, snuggling on jongin's side. 

  
"for what?" asked jongin, giving him a quick peck on his forehead. nagsumiksik si kyungsoo sa katawan ng boyfriend, almost sitting on his lap. 

  
"for making you cook yet again." 

  
"i don't mind. kaysa naman puro fast food, that's not healthy. hindi ka nag-lunch, no?" jongin asked sternly, clicking his tongue. ngumuso lang si kyungsoo bago yakapin nang tuluyan ang nobyo. 

  
"i fell asleep, sorry. don't be mad at me." he felt jongin nodded, embracing his small frame with strong arms. "...mlove you." 

  
"i love you too, babe. don't skip meals next time, parang awa." kyungsoo giggle at the way jongin pleaded. he went back to eating bite size of his pancake, pouring too much condensed milk that made jongin kind of angry. ang gwapo pa rin kahit naiinis, mas gwapo lalo kapag nag-aalala. 

  
_ayan na naman._

  
bumabalik na naman yung small amount of guilt pati na yung doubt sa sistema ni kyungsoo. 

  
deserve ba nya 'tong lalaki na nagmamahal at nag-aalaga sa kanya? it must be too good to be true. pakiramdam nya, hindi sya enough kay jongin. 

  
nahalata siguro ni jongin ang biglaan nyang pananahimik at pagtigil kumain. "something wrong?" puna nito. 

  
umiling si kyungsoo, "just thinking of getting a new job para naman may ambag ako dito." 

  
"hindi naman kita hinihingian ng ambag ah?" tumaas ang kilay ni jongin as if he's mocking him. 

  
yumakap na lang ulit si kyungsoo to drown his feelings. pinaglaruan nya ang mga butones ng polo ni jongin at isa-isang tinanggal ang mga ito hanggang sa bandang tiyan. "isn't it too soon to find a job? kaka-resign mo lang, babe. you should rest for at least six months." 

  
"ano? six months? bubulukin mo ba 'ko dito sa apartment, babe?" kyungsoo whined loudly. 

  
"am i not allowing you to go outside?" jongin frowned deeply. 

  
kyungsoo let out a long whine, "kaya nga i want to work already para if i'm gonna go out, i have money to spend." 

  
"babe, we have _our_ savings...? you can always use it. 'di ba 'yun naman ginagawa mo before?" hindi nagsalita si kyungsoo dahil ayaw nyang aminin na yes, nagalaw nya before ang savings nila at no, ayaw na nyang ulitin yun. that was when he was still so spoiled and so impulsive. ngayon he just wanted to be useful. ayaw na nyang abusuhin si jongin pati na ang pagmamahal nito. "are we fighting, babe?" 

  
"no. no, we're not. i just want to help you kahit hindi na sa chores, kahit sa bills na lang." jongin let out a low chuckle before hugging him, pulling him in his arms to capture his lips. 

  
"stop worrying, kaya nga kita pinagpapahinga so you'll be at peace. no need to stress yourself, babe." kyungsoo nodded, deepening the kiss jongin started. it lasted for a few seconds before they started sucking each other's tongue, messily fighting for dominance. it was literally more tongues than lips and the growing tent between jongin's thighs made kyungsoo straddled on his lap and pressed their boners together.

  
"would you fuck me if i suck you off? pa-thank you na rin for making me pancakes." 

  
"i'd fuck you whenever and wherever you want." 

  
just as when kyungsoo started unbuckling jongin's belt, a loud shrill from the latter's phone blared across the room making kyungsoo whined in the process. 

  
"someone's too needy." umirap lang si kyungsoo while struggling to free jongin's cock. another ring from jongin's phone and he snarled at nobody. _fucking istorbo._  
"need to get it, babe. baka emergency." kyungsoo stopped fumbling on jongin's pants, pouting at the latter. 

  
kyungsoo gave jongin's cock one last sad squeeze, "it better be." he squirmed out of his boyfriend's lap and sat on his original seat, palming his half-hard cock as he watched jongin all ruined with his unbuttoned shirt and unzipped pants answering his phone. 

  
kyungsoo half-listened to whatever bloom's taxonomy was jongin explaining to the end of the line so he could ignore his softening boner. jongin even talked about two types of lesson plans and when to use both. _fuck_ , jongin sounded so sexy when he emphasized that the objectives needed to be parallel to the flow of the lesson that he actually moaned out of the blue. _puta, kyungsoo._

  
to keep his hands off of his cock, kyungsoo reached for his phone and pulled out his chat convo with baekhyun. 

> **kyungsoo do:** bakla ugh talaga 
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** sobrang sexy ni jongin rn i cant evendhdhdhjx 
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** fuck he was on the phone, hinahayaan ako magkablue balls i hate my life 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** nasa bus ako omg ka dony send dick pic di ako ready
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** why would i send dick pic gago 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** hahahahha pero anyare why is he letting you unattended 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** we were momol-ing tapos idk may tumawag sa phone nya and he was talking abt bloom's taxo and lesson plNs and parallelism at tinitigasan ako lalo omfg ang sexy ni jongin now in his teaching clothes :((((((((((((((((((( tapos shshshs i feel useless rn di ko man lang sya maipaglutp ng pancake do u think im just using him, his money and his body 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** u need advice? galingan mo nalang sa kama or lambing. ikaw lang naman high maintainance sa inyong dalawa eh 
> 
>   
> **kyungsoo do:** oh my god ka high maintainance ako?? AKO?? 
> 
>   
> **baekhyun byun:** oo? cuz jongin's pampering you in anyway that he can??? kaya mo na yan, use your ASSet come on!

  
kyungsoo let out a soft whine, glancing at jongin who already shed his button down and was currently topless while typing on his laptop. he was still on the phone, too busy to fulfill his promise of sex. 

  
kyungsoo's boner died down as he finished his pancake and proceeded on brushing his teeth. grabe, wala na bang pwedeng gawin si kyungsoo aside maghintay kay jongin? he really wanted the latter's attention but he's not that bitch to interfere and actually ask him to stop working. in the end, tumabi na lang sya sa boyfriend, hindi sya nanggulo at nang-istorbo, hindi rin sya nag-initiate ng conversation kahit na wala na itong kausap sa phone. kyungsoo just let jongin type on his laptop as he snuggled closer, eventually resting his head on jongin's lap when he laid down. 

  
"sorry, i just need to email people. mabilis lang 'to, babe." jongin glanced at him, biceps flexing as he rearranged kyungsoo's head. 

  
"s'okay, i'm fine. magpa-deliver na lang tayo ng food, i don't want you cooking pa mamaya. i know you're tired." kyungsoo muttered in a soft voice, earning a kiss from his live-in partner. jongin reached out for his hand and intertwined their fingers.

  
"i love you, babe." 

  
kyungsoo huffed, burrying his face on jongin's abs, "but i love you more." 

* * *

  
kyungsoo was laying on their bed wearing _only_ his favorite bathrobe. jongin was still inside the bathroom. sabay silang nag-shower but naunang lumabas si kyungsoo because he needed to do his skin care routine. 

  
by the time kyungsoo finished smearing the residue from his sheet mask, jongin came out of the shower. water dripping from his hair down to his chest. a large towel wrapped around his waist and a smaller one draped around his broad shoulders. 

  
kyungsoo watched jongin dry himself, rummaging inside his closet only to pull out an undies and pajamas. 

  
after god-knows-how-long, tumabi si jongin sa kanya, wrapping his arm around his narrow waist and sliding off his robe to expose his nipple. jongin must've felt the absence of his underwear and arched his eyebrow. "no undies?" 

  
"what's the point? huhubaran mo rin naman ako." kyungsoo whispered as he guided jongin towards his nipple, nodding at the latter to latch on it. jongin loved his nipples more than his ass, he spent hours licking and sucking and teasing him in this particular area, kneading and pinching it as if it's handful. siguro kung straight si jongin, he'd be a boobs person. 

  
"how was work?" kyungsoo asked breathlessly. he tried to focus his eyes on the ceiling to initiate a proper conversation. sobrang sarap sumipsip ni jongin and he couldn't help but moan in a filthy way. mahihiya sana sya but he knew jongin, mas lalo itong tinitigasan. 

  
"m'good. thought about you all day. mm'didn't text me..." 

  
"worried i'm gonna burn the whole apartment-- ah, _fuck_ , jongin..." jongin's hand went south and caressed his aching cock. namilipit si kyungsoo sa sarap, twisting his body out of pleasure, gasping for air so he could fill his lungs. napasabunot sya sa buhok ni jongin, making the latter winced and pulled away.

  
"sakyan mo 'ko..." jongin said roughly. 

  
jongin let go off him to take off his pajamas and underwear. he was laying on his back, arm stuffed under his head while the other was busy stroking his hard cock. jongin glanced at him, almost impatiently as if he was challenging kyungsoo to do something, to prove something. if this was a one night stand, kyungsoo would probably be intimidated by the way jongin stared at him.

  
baka nga tama si baekhyun, kyungsoo thought. baka nga sa kama na lang sya pwedeng bumawi. after all, ito rin lang naman ang kayang i-offer ni kyungsoo sa kinakasama nya; a mindblowing sex and unconditional love. 

  
he's confident. kaya naman nang pumatong sya kay jongin, ass all prepped and stretched from their earlier's ministration, kyungsoo sank down on jongin's cock, easy and smooth. he purposely clenched around him, earning a long, guttural moan from the latter. he gave himself few minutes to adjust before setting the pace, before rolling his hips, bouncing on jongin's lap.

  
kinalag ni jongin ang pagkakatali ng bathrobe nya, revealing only his shoulders and pert nubs. he could feel jongin's cock inside of him getting harder as the minutes passed by. 

  
"kyungsoo..." jongin pleaded when he rolled his hips sensually. jongin's so close, so close...

  
and kyungsoo did not stop, hindi nya kayang huminto. he was so turned on with jongin's scrunched face, frowned brows and hanging mouth. without breaking the relentless pace, he kissed jongin, shoving his tongue inside his hot cavern. owning him, pleasuring him, giving him everything he deserved. 

  
"don't stop, babe, i'm so close, soo... _so close_." jongin rambled, gripping his waist, snapping his hips to meet his thrust. and there, he watched jongin gasped for air. his hips stuttering as he spurted his loads inside of him. nanginig si kyungsoo nang himasin ni jongin ang tigas nya, made him realize how neglected his cock was after all this time. 

  
kyungsoo saw stars when jongin rolled on top of him, fucked him the way kyungsoo wanted, the way kyungsoo asked for. "kyungsoo, _come for me_ , babe..." jongin's mouth was everywhere; on his neck, on his lips. on his chest and nipples, on his shoulders or knees. 

  
kyungsoo saw the galaxy when he came. halos mawalan sya ng malay sa sobrang sarap if it wasn't from jongin's kisses, hindi pa sya mababalik sa reyalidad. 

  
the last thing kyungsoo remembered was scattered kisses and a soft whisper of _i love you, babe._

* * *

  
they were org mates before. 

  
si kyungsoo na mass communication student from college of arts and letters at si jongin na secondary education from college of education. 

  
nagkakilala sila through their org mates na rin. mas naunang naging miyembro si kyungsoo, jongin joined a year after him. kyungsoo was in-charge in photography while jongin was the one writing for whatever the hell was happening in their university. _very boring._ kaya hindi rin sila nag-uusap ni jongin. kyungsoo chose not to. kasi akala nya boring na tao si jongin. that and they were completely polar opposite. 

  
kyungsoo was the mood maker, the bold and the loud one while jongin was the meek and unapproachable one, preferred to be alone with his yellow pad paper and green dong-a gel pen. 

  
inisip ni kyungsoo na mapapanis ang laway nya kay jongin dahil bihira ito magsalita. makikipag-usap lang kapag may itatanong, kapag hinihingian ng opinyon. 

  
not until pinag-partner sila sa isang event ng school. they somehow managed to exchanged small talks, suggestions and remarks. realizing that they were not different at all, jongin was just shy lang at si kyungsoo ang mas malakas ang loob. 

  
they became friends, close friends and hit it off sometime after graduation. jongin managed to gather confidence and actually confessed to kyungsoo one day in summer, celebrating jongin's employment. 

  
hindi rin naman kasi mahirap mahalin si jongin. as for kyungsoo, maarte lang sya, medyo impulsive but jongin managed to tame him. hindi sila perpekto para sa isa't isa, and a lot still thought na hindi tugma ang ugali nila; kyungsoo as the happy-go-lucky person and jongin being the hard-working one, but they proved them wrong. dahil five years later, heto pa rin sila, heto pa rin si jongin na binabahay sya at inaalagaan. heto pa rin si kyungsoo na mahal na mahal ang dating org mate na akala nya boring at unexciting kasama pero ngayon ay syang nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ni kyungsoo. 

  
and he's happy. kyungsoo was more than happy dahil nagtagal sila nang ganito. na kahit minsan, maselan si kyungsoo pinagtyatyagaan sya ni jongin. na kahit wala syang silbi as a live-in partner, jongin still put up with him. 

  
mas lalo nyang na-realize na swerte sya kay jongin nang magising sya sa amoy ng niluluto nito. kyungsoo sighed. panibagong araw, panibagong guilt na naman ang mararamdaman nya. sobrang perfect ni jongin from his view; although he's wearing an apron, naka-display ang batak nitong katawan dahil topless ito. he was cooking something delicious na kahit bukas ang exhaust fan ay amoy sa buong apartment nila. 

  
kyungsoo managed to put something decent kagabi, he couldn't remember how pero naka-pajama na sya at lumang shirt. he quietly approached jongin from the back, hugging him and nosing the wideness of tan skin. 

  
"good morning, babe." 

  
"morning. saglit na lang 'to, babe. upo ka na." sabi ni jongin, pressing few gentle kisses on his cheeks. 

  
"can i set the table? also, can i do the dishes mamaya? so i can be useful naman." kyungsoo jutted his lips.

  
"uh...okay? but aren't you... _sore_?" tanong ni jongin habang nag-aayos sya ng plates and glasses.

  
"eh? i'm fine, babe." kyungsoo lightly chuckle. 

  
"you sure, babe?" jongin glanced at him while setting the plate full of rice. 

  
"ano ba, jongin. don't baby me, baka masanay ako." 

  
"five years and you aren't used to it?" jongin grabbed him by his waist, connecting their lips, "plus, you _really_ are my baby." 

* * *

  
kyungsoo insisted na sya na ang maghugas ng pinggan habang si jongin naman ang naglinis ng table at kasalukuyang nagre-refill ng tubig sa pitcher nila. 

  
maingat naman si kyungsoo, he even scrubbed every inch of their utensils and tableware but for some reason, kakakuskos ni kyungsoo sa isang baso, bigla itong dumulas sa kamay nya and ended up shattering on the floor. nagulat sya syempre and his first instinct was to grab the shards immediately. 

  
bilang malas si kyungsoo, careless at palpak, nasugatan sya. tapos naalala nya napaso sya kahapon which triggered him to cry silently. hindi na nya namalayan ang pagbuhat sa kanya ni jongin papunta sa malapit na chair. "taas mo paa mo, babe." sabi ni jongin, pabulong, kalmado. walang halong inis, walang halong dismaya. mas lalo lang umiyak si kyungsoo dahil punong-puno na sya ng insekyuridad at duda sa sarili. 

  
mabilis nalinis ni jongin ang mga piraso ng basag na baso. naramdaman ni kyungsoo ang marahang paghila ni jongin sa nasugatan nyang daliri, maingat na ginamot at nilagyan ng band aid. nang humupa na ang bugso ng damdamin ay saka palang nagsalita si jongin. "babe, okay ka na? masakit pa ba?" 

  
suminghot si kyungsoo bago tumingin kay jongin, "sure ka ba talaga sa'kin? gusto mo talaga 'kong kasama dito sa apartment mo? i can't even cook, jongin. i'll probably break all your dishes by next week..." 

  
"is that the reason why you're crying? it's fi--" 

  
"jongin, you don't get it. i feel bad. i feel useless. sobrang freeloader ako dito. sa tuwing nakikita ko na ikaw yung gumagawa ng chores tapos ako nakatanga lang, naiinis ako. ni hindi nga kita maipag-plantsa ng damit mo," a pause and a sob. "babe, nagi-guilty ako. i don't think i'm ready for this. sooner or later, magsasawa ka rin, mapapagod ka sa'kin for being like this." 

  
"babe," jongin took a deep breath before sighing, "listen..." 

  
"no, jongin. _you listen_." he watched jongin blinked in confusion, "mahal kita, you know that. pero i don't fit in here. here in your space. independent ka, you can handle yourself. eh ako...? i'm just me; unemployed, spoiled, dependent. can we just...go back sa dati?" 

  
jongin clicked his tongue. umupo ito nang maayos at puno ng kaseryosohan ang mukha. "and then what? you'll complain about your step-siblings? ayaw mo ba dito? stress-free? malayo sa mapang-abuso mong mga kapatid?" 

  
kyungsoo bit his lips. he knew he did hit a nerve or two. nagulat si kyungsoo sa biglaang pagtayo ni jongin. he was never the one to walk-out pero baka nga na-push ni kyungsoo ang boyfriend. 

  
yumuko si kyungsoo, spilling more tears as he rubbed his face. tangina, he muttered to himself. 

  
"and to answer your question..." jongin was suddenly sitting in front of him, pulling his chair even closer. kyungsoo watched jongin's face morphed from nervousness to confidence. kahit basa ng luha ang mga mata, kahit walang salamin na suot, kitang-kita ni kyungsoo ang paghugot ni jongin ng maliit na pulang kahon out of nowhere. "sigurado ako sa'yo." jongin said in finality. 

  
"h-ha...?" natanga yata si kyungsoo. bukod pa doon ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso nya na parang gustong kumawala. ramdam rin ang ang unusual na pakiramdam sa tiyan nya na para bang kinikiliti sya mula sa loob. 

  
"tinatanong mo kung sure ba 'ko sa'yo." jongin reached for his hand and clasped their fingers, "kyungsoo, _i am_. noon pa. that's why i want you to stay with me. mahal kita, kaya i want you to live with me para you know... _practice_." jongin offered a sheepish smile. kyungsoo tried to return it but he couldn't. he was overwhelmed. sa nangyayari, sa sinabi ni jongin. 

  
lumipat ang tingin ni kyungsoo sa pulang kahon. nag-iisip. nagdududa. kinakabahan.

  
"alam na nila, if that's what you're thinking..." hinila sya ni jongin sa kandungan nito at niyakap, mahigpit. jongin buried his face on his neck, nosing his jawline. "ikaw na lang ang kulang, babe. although hindi naman ako nagmamadali, i just want you to know. para alam mo na may purpose 'tong ginagawa natin, na hindi naman ako mag-aaya ng live-in para lang iwan ka sa huli." jongin said against his cheeks. inabot nito ang pulang kahon at binuksan. 

  
alam naman nyang singsing ang laman, unless _issa prank!!!!!_ kapag talaga prank lang 'to, kakalbuhin nya si jongin. 

  
pero hindi. it's a silver band with a small, glistening stone in the middle. kyungsoo gasped almost quietly. kinuha ni jongin ang kaliwang kamay nya to put the ring on his finger pero biglang ikinuyom ni kyungsoo ang kamay. 

  
"pero...hindi naman ako marunong magluto. hindi rin ako sanay mag-plantsa ng working clothes mo. babe, unemployed nga ako eh. hindi ako husband material. tamad ako, jongin." kyungsoo blinked sadly, jutting his lower lips. natawa si jongin but eventually tumango. 

  
"eh ano naman kung hindi ka marunong magluto? i'll still love you. limang taon na tayo pero wala ka namang narinig sa'kin na kahit ano about your shortcomings and flaws. i love you just the way you are. i love you even more now that you're showing your weaknesses. it means we're having an honest relationship, don't you want that?" mas lalo lang lumambot ang puso ni kyungsoo sa boyfriend... _fiancé_ rather, because jongin was currently slipping the silver band on his ring finger. 

  
it felt so right, kyungsoo admitted to himself. "i love you, jongin. thank you for accepting me." 

  
jongin kissed him, soft and tender. "love has no limits naman. love is acceptance. and i accept who you are inside and out. we have all the time in the world to learn new things. kaya nga minahal kita eh, kasi you're so ambitious. lahat ng gusto mo, ginagawa mo even if it's on whim." 

  
kyungsoo curled on jongin's lap, making the latter gathered his legs and caressed it gently. "so you think may pag-asa pa 'ko sa mga chores." 

  
"yeah, patience is all we need, babe." with that, kyungsoo cupped jongin's cheeks, molding their lips together like pieces of puzzle. their lips moved languidly, tongue teasing each other's mouth before kyungsoo playfully bit jongin's upper lip. 

  
"alam mo ba sabi ni baekhyun galingan ko na lang daw sa kama, lokong 'yon. kasi nga i feel useless." amin ni kyungsoo sa boyfriend.   
  


tumaas ang kilay ni jongin sa confession nya at bahagyang naka-ngisi, "ah, kaya pala pang-performance level yung kagabi?" 

  
"ayos ba?" asked kyungsoo, giggling when jongin started kissing his neck up to his ear. jongin then bit his earlobe, whispering the answer to his question. 

  
_ah, someone's in the mood today._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cravings. the sensitivity. the vomiting every morning. the fatigue. the _pants_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello gulat kayo 'no? 
> 
> i decided to add additional chapter cuz i cant get enough of lived-in partner kaisoo! i have so many scenes running in my head. sobrang,,,, ;A; ugh, domestic kaisoo talaga weakness ko! 
> 
> anyway, i hope yall enjoy this, please read the tags before u proceed;;;

_6 months after_

it's monday. handa na ang resumé ni kyungsoo. handa na rin ang mga posibleng requirements na hihingin ng pag-aapply-an nyang media company. excited na sya to work and be an adult again. jongin was all supportive simula't sapul.

_"whatever you want, babe. kung saan ka masaya, doon din ako."_

kaya heto na, _this is it._ extra pera din 'to dahil pinag-iipunan na nila ni jongin ang dream wedding nila. they wanted it to happen next year kaya naman g na g na sya kumayod para may ambag sya kahit papano.

maagang gumising si kyungsoo that day. sabay silang nag-breakfast ng boyfriend nya, sabay din silang naligo. just a quick, wholesome bath dahil may pasok si jongin at may lakad naman si kyungsoo, no time to fool around.

he took his button down polo na regalo ni jongin nung birthday nya and partnered it with slacks but,

"fuck." kyungsoo muttered. kunot-noo syang tumingin sa salamin and tried buttoning his pants. _hindi kasya._ ganon na ba sya kataba para sumikip nang ganito ang pants nya? sabagay, wala naman syang ginawa sa bahay but kain at tulog all day, all night.

"babe," sigaw ni kyungsoo from the outside of the bathroom, naiwan pa kasi si jongin to shave. "do you have extra pants? yung maliit na sa'yo."

it took jongin a while to answer, sakto namang lumabas na ito. the smell of jongin's shaving cream hit his nose like a punch. it did not smell good, what the hell. he almost gagged pero pinigilan nya. 

"bakit? hindi na kasya?" jongin asked, glancing at his bare thighs and legs.

"no. i tried three slacks already and fuck, don't look at me like _that_. i know mataba na 'ko." kyungsoo grimaced, not liking the way jongin studied him.

"wala akong sinabi," jongin shrugged, walking towards his closet. "jeans? magpapasa ka pa lang naman ng resumé, 'di ba?" may point naman si jongin kaya tumango sya at dinampot ang jeans na una nya nakita, not caring if it's his or jongin's. conjugal property na 'to.

good thing kasya sa kanya. a little bit tight sa bandang hips but it's better than the hideous slacks. hinubad na rin nya ang button down and switch to a branded shirt.

"sexy," jongin muttered, leaning down to kiss his cheeks for a few times. naamoy na naman ni kyungsoo ang after shave ni jongin, making his nose twitched. tolerable naman yung smell unlike earlier. siguro nabigla lang sya dahil bagong brand ito, not jongin's usual.

"bolero," kinuha nya ang mga braso ni jongin at ipinulupot ito sa sariling bewang. jongin gladly hugged him from the back, admiring their reflection on the mirror. naka-working clothes na 'to at nagmukha tuloy sugar baby si kyungsoo sa outfit nya.

he took out his phone and took mirror selfies. there's one photo na naka-crane ang leeg ni kyungsoo to his side, lips connected to jongin's, his favorite out of all. sinet nya yun as wallpaper, contemplating to post it sa socmed pero wag na, baka bawal because jongin's a teacher.

"have to go. update me, ha?" paalam ni jongin. tumango lang si kyungsoo at hinatid si jongin sa main door. "are you sure you don't need a ride?"

"nope. sunduin ako ni baek. ingat ka, babe."

"you, too. i love you." jongin said. tumalikod na ito to get his car pero hinila sya ni kyungsoo pabalik, pressing too many kisses to count on his lips. natawa si jongin, eventually giving in and deepening the kiss.

"bye babe, i love you." kyungsoo said, with finality this time. he wanted to pout nang naglakad na palayo si jongin, nagmamadali. he felt sad nang makaalis na ito. it's unusual for him to feel this way kasi sanay naman na sya, ganito naman ang eksena palagi kapag may pasok si jongin. so bakit parang ayaw nya pakawalan si jongin kanina?

kyungsoo groaned. sumasakit lang ang ulo nya kakaisip. nag-relax na lang sya while waiting for his friend.

* * *

kyungsoo managed to send resumé to three different media company. okay lang if kahit alin sa tatlo ang tumanggap sa kanya pero goal talaga nya na maging workmate si baekhyun kaya sana, _cross fingers,_ makapasa sya sa interview the day after tomorrow.

"tara kyungsoo, let's eat somewhere. g ka ba sa kfc?" aya ni baekhyun, walang pasok si gago kaya heto sila, nasa mall.

ayaw sana ni kyungsoo sumama dahil balak nya i-surprise visit ang boyfriend sa university, para na rin makakuha sya ng new set of transcipt of records sa registrar dahil ubos na ang copy nya. nahihiya lang si kyungsoo tumanggi dahil syempre nag-effort si baekhyun na sunduin sya at samahan sya sa job seeking nya.

kyungsoo settled sa sulok na part ng restaurant while baekhyun was ordering. he took deep breaths dahil medyo hinihingal sya sa paglalakad nila around the mall. worse was, medyo nahihilo sya. hindi pa nakatulong ang amoy ng mushroom soup na in-order ni baekhyun.

"kyungsoo, okay ka lang? bakit parang ang tamlay mo? eat your food na, huy." baekhyun asked worriedly. hinihimas nito ang likod ni kyungsoo pero hindi nabawasan ang samu't saring nararamdaman nya. okay naman sya kanina nung kasalukuyang nagpapasa sya ng resumé and shits so why now? anong problema? anong mali? may nakain ba sya kagabi o kanina to make him feel _this_ sick?

kyungsoo kept thinking. pinilit nyang kumain but in the end sumuko sya dahil hindi talaga maganda ang pakiramdam nya. "please, ipa-take-out mo na lang 'to, b. i don't feel well."

baekhyun nodded, glancing at him worriedly. inalalayan sya nito papunta sa parking lot ng mall and when they arrived sa apartment nila ni jongin, baekhyun helped him lay down on the nearest couch. "do you want me to call jongin?"

umiling si kyungsoo, not wanting to disturb his boyfriend. "itutulog ko nalang 'to, you can go na." baekhyun looked unsure when he stood up.

"nasa table yung food mo. call me if you need something, ha?" baekhyun kissed the top of his head as he bid goodbye, really not wanting to leave him alone. nag-thumbs up lang si kyungsoo, shutting his eyes immediately after hearing the door close.

_fuck, he hated being sick._

* * *

"babe," kyungsoo felt a breath fanning against the back of his palm. he then felt the softness of jongin's lips, scattering light kisses on his knuckles. pinilit ni kyungsoo idilat ang mga mata. tumambad sa kanya ang topless na si jongin. nakaupo ito sa floor, probably waiting for him to wake up. "okay ka na ba, babe?" jongin asked worriedly. "baekhyun told me you weren't feeling well. what's wrong?"

"i don't know, babe," kyungsoo said truthfully. hinila nya si jongin para mahiga rin sa couch. jongin complied at pinagkasya nila ang mga katawan nila. yumakap si kyungsoo sa boyfriend, snuggling closely, burying his face in jongin's neck. "masakit ulo ko kanina but i'm fine now." he muttered softly, lips brushing against jongin's shoulder.

"sure ka, babe?" jongin inched away, looking at him as if he was asking for assurance.

"i'm sure," kyungsoo said bago pumaibabaw sa boyfriend. jongin was still on his black slacks while kyungsoo did not bother to change clothes earlier. he sat just above jongin's crotch, maintaining their eye contact. normally, kyungsoo would dry hump on top of jongin but right now, wala syang lakas. nahiga na lang ulit sya but this time, on top of jongin. his cheeks pressed against the latter's chest. niyakap sya ni jongin, a little too tight for his liking pero hindi na sya nag-complain.

"kiss?" jongin asked. inangat nito ang baba nya to initiate a kiss but kyungsoo stopped even before their lips met.

"bakit amoy chicken ka? wha--! oh my god, jongin! kinain mo yung food ko!" mabilis lumayo si kyungsoo sa boyfriend at hinampas ang dibdib nito. jongin was clearly shocked at his reaction with his eyes wide open and mouth agape.

agad tumakbo si kyungsoo papunta sa kitchen only to find out na nasa trashcan na ang kfc take-out box nya.

"babe, sorry. akala ko pasalubong mo sa'kin eh. i'm so--are you _crying_?" amused na tanong ni jongin sa kanya. _yes, i am!_ gustong sumigaw ni kyungsoo pero hindi nya magawa because he himself was too upset to respond. sinubukan ni jongin pahirin ang luha nya but he swatted the latter's hand.

"i hate you," kyungsoo sobbed, walking away from his boyfriend. maliit lang ang apartment nila at mahaba ang legs ni jongin kaysa sa kanya kaya mabilis syang nahabol nito.

"babe, why are you crying? ibibili na lang kita. sorry, please. tahan na." jongin hugged him from the back, strong arms circled around his waist. when he tried to get away from jongin's embrace, mas lalo lang nitong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya. kyungsoo then felt the light kisses on his nape going to the side of his neck up to his cheek. "sorry, sorry. don't cry." jongin rambled against his skin.

hindi naman iyakin si kyungsoo. hindi sya yung tipo ng tao na iiyak during an argument. _no_ , he told himself, _this is not me._ huminga sya nang malalim para ikalma ang sarili. pinunasan nya ang basang mga mata bago harapin si jongin. he wrapped his arms around jongin's nape, clinging on to him tightly.

"something's wrong with me. hindi ko sinasadya na umakto like that."

"it's all my fault anyway. you should rest and take some meds."

"okay." hindi alam ni kyungsoo kung ano ang pumasok sa utak nya when he started to cling on jongin like a koala. "carry me sa bedroom. tapos luto mo 'ko ng sinigang." bulong ni kyungsoo sa boyfriend. jongin hummed as response before lifting him up, wrapping his legs around his waist.

hiniga sya ni jongin sa kama. balak pa nitong tumabi sa kanya to cuddle siguro pero tinulak nya ang boyfriend, "magluto ka na, babe." whined kyungsoo.

"babe, it's only 4:30...?"

"i know. pero i'm hungry. kinain mo yung food ko. come on, let me have your peace offering." sabi ni kyungsoo, hugging a huge pillow.

"let's make out muna. i miss you. thought you were up for sex kanina."

"maya," kyungsoo said dismissively. nagtalukbong na sya ng kumot at sinubukang matulog ulit.

maybe, just maybe, hindi pa nya kayang iwanan ang buhay unemployed.

* * *

it took him an hour to finish cooking sinigang. nakasaing na sya, nakahugas na rin ng mga used utensils. it's nearing 6pm nang sumulyap sya sa wall clock ng apartment nila.

last time he checked, tulog pa rin si kyungsoo but that was 30 minutes ago. hindi nya alam kung gising na ba ito o naghihilik pa rin.

yeah, kyungsoo did snore.

medyo guilty pa rin si jongin for what he did. akala nya talaga pasalubong ni kyungsoo sa kanya ang kfc take-out kaya kinain nya. turned out na tira yata ni kyungsoo 'yun kanina nung nag-lunch sila ng friend nito.

which made jongin think kung may kinain ba ito at all? lumipas ang maghapon na walang laman ang tyan? he probably skipped lunch dahil according to kyungsoo's friend, sumama ang pakiramdam nito while having their lunch.

as a worry wart, nag-alala sya at nagmadaling gisingin ang boyfriend... _fiancé_ rather. jongin smiled to himself as he beelined towards their shared bedroom.

pagpasok nya sa kwarto, gising na si kyungsoo. hindi sya pinansin ni kyungsoo, too focused on his phone. to get his attention, jongin laid down beside his boyfriend. nagulat si jongin nang bigla itong yumakap sa kanya na parang naglalambing. kyungsoo muttered something incoherent against his neck.

"ano, babe?"

"i said, gutom na 'ko." kyungsoo singsonged against his ear.

"edi let's eat na. tapos matulog na tayo nang maaga para makapag-pahinga ka na." bulong pabalik ni jongin, hindi nya mapigilan na halik-halikan ang nobyo. it was a long goddamn day, ni hindi man lang nya nakausap nang matino si kyungsoo sa buong maghapon. hindi nya alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ni kyungsoo as of now dahil wala naman itong sinasabi. everytime he asked him, parang okay naman na si kyungsoo and then suddenly biglang mag-iiba na naman ang pakiramdam nito. plus, napaiyak pa nya si kyungsoo. he's still guilty about that.

without a word, umalis si kyungsoo sa tabi nya at lumabas ng kwarto. rinig nya ang mga kalansing ng plato at kubyertos mula sa kusina.

"babe, init ko ulit yung sinigang." sabi ni kyungsoo from the kitchen. um-okay na lang si jongin kahit alam nyang mainit pa ito dahil kakaluto lang. it gave him opportunity to take a quick shower.

naka-sleepwear na sya after nya maligo at ready na mag-dinner. lumabas sya ng kwarto and from there, nakita nya si kyungsoo na nagdadagdag ng sinigang mix sa sarili nitong bowl. _weird._

sobrang weird. hindi pa man nya natitikman, nangangasim na agad si jongin.

"babe, kain na! sorry, dinagdagan ko ng sinigang mix yung sa'kin." kyungsoo beamed at him. hinila sya nito papunta sa dining table nila at pinaupo. ito na rin ang naglagay ng kanina sa plato nya. "love you," kyungsoo chirped, kissing jongin's temple. jongin's eyebrows quirked with the sudden affection.

tahimik silang kumain except sa mga tunong ng kubyertos at ocassional na paghigop ni kyungsoo ng sabaw. after dinner, si kyungsoo ang nag-volunteer na mag-hugas ng pinggan. he looked happy and fine as fuck, malayong-malayo sa kyungsoo na dinatnan nya kanina. jongin pushed his worries away, thinking na okay na si kyungsoo with the amount of rest he took.

* * *

to say na naglalambing si jongin was an understatement dahil kanina pa nya hinahalikan ang nobyo sa leeg pero kanina pa rin sya pinu-push ni kyungsoo palayo.

jongin pouted when kyungsoo shoved him away for the last time. tumalikod ito sa kanya at nagpatuloy sa pagce-cellphone. jongin took it as a sign na wala ang boyfriend sa mood. in the end, pinili na lang nyang matulog after he kissed kyungsoo goodnight.

few hours after, naalimpungatan si jongin sa mga kislot na ginagawa ni kyungsoo. sasawayin nya sana ito nang biglang sumiksik ito sa bisig nya. kyungsoo's hands were cold na para bang katutuyo lang nito. he also smelled like mint, probably toothpaste.

niyakap ni jongin ang boyfriend, pressing his body against kyungsoo's. mukha kasing nilalamig ito kaya mas lalo nyang hinigpitan ang yakap, throwing his leg over kyungsoo's to secure him from moving too often.

kahit inaantok pa, rinig nya ang pagsinghot ni kyungsoo, immediately thinking na baka magtuloy-tuloy ang sama ng pakiramdam ni kyungsoo. jongin sighed heavily, worried and scared of kyungsoo's well-being.

_sana okay ka na bukas,_ jongin wished not knowing na umiyak si kyungsoo from throwing up his dinner.

* * *

jongin was long gone when he woke up feeling like a shit.

kahit nahihilo, agad bumangon si kyungsoo at tumungo sa banyo. he stood up in front of the sink, almost bending in half when he felt the familiar tightening on his stomach area. he felt his saliva gathered in his mouth without intending to do so and then came the loud sound of gagging as he emptied his stomach. kyungsoo waited for another wave but it did not come.

hinang-hina si kyungsoo habang pinipilit na mag-gargle. nag-salin sya ng mouthwash sa paper cup kahit na nanginginig sya at nanlalabo pa ang paningin. kyungsoo managed to gargle properly and spit it out afterwards.

kasabay ng paghinga nya nang malalim ay ang pagpahid sa nangingilid nyang luha. akala nya okay na sya, akala nya kaunting pahinga lang and he'll be fine.

pero limang araw na ang nakalipas since monday. he vomited later that night and woke up fine except the headache he endured for a couple of hours. the next day, he felt nauseous and ran towards the bathroom to retch out. wala si jongin noon kaya mag-isa lang syang namroblema. ever since that day, ganoon na lang palagi ang routine ni kyungsoo. hindi man consistent pero kinakabahan na sya sa sariling well-being.

hinintay ni kyungsoo mahimasmasan ang sarili bago humiga ulit sa kama at kuhanin ang phone. he texted jongin first, saying;

> **kyungsoo do:** babe. need to go to hospital for check-up. :((((
> 
> **jongin kim:** what? why? are you sick? sasamahan kita.
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** no na. i can manage. i feel nauseous since monday pa. hindi consistent but it keeps recurring.
> 
> **jongin kim:** wala man lang akong alam? why didn't you tell me?
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** im sorry, babe. i thought it will go away eventually. i'll ask b if he can give me a ride.
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** ill update you. i love you. wag na ikaw worry.
> 
> **jongin kim:** wag mag-worry? tinago mo nga sakin eh.
> 
> **jongin kim:** and why baekhyun? nandito naman ako, i can drop you off. sasamahan na rin kita, babe.
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** no na nga. :( love you. i'll update you na lang.
> 
> **jongin kim:** sasama ako. i'll cancel my next class.
> 
> **kyungsoo do:** babe, huwag na nga. baekhyun's on the way na.

nag-reply pa muli si jongin pero hindi na nag-abala pa si kyungsoo na basahin ang mga 'yon. he ignored all of jongin's text not because he did not want to deal with how the latter was worried but because he's scared, too. hindi nya alam ang mali sa kanya and he's afraid to know his condition. mamaya may malubha pala syang sakit at malapit na matodas. paano na lang si jongin? paano na lang ang wedding nila? pucha, hindi pa kasal si jongin pero mukhang magiging byudo na ito.

lalo lang naiyak si kyungsoo sa mga bagay na tumatakbo sa utak nya. hindi na nya nagawang maligo ng maayos. he did not remember kung nag-shampoo ba sya or whatever. while dressing up in a simple tee and jeans, dinial nya ang number ng kaibigan.

"baekhyun, remember last monday? i was dizzy and pale?" bungad ni kyungsoo nang sagutin ni baekhyun ang tawag nya.

_"yeah, ano? what about it?"_ baekhyun sounded concern already. naiiyak sya to speak up.

"thought i'll be fine kapag ipinahinga ko. okay naman ako nung job interview but lumala. i kept throwing up almost every morning tapos i always feel nauseous. sometimes, i'm cranky over small things. i--- mamamatay na ba 'ko, baek? i'm fucking scared, gago. galit si jongin right now because i kept it from him!" kyungsoo rambled in a shaking voice. nanginginig din sya while telling baekhyun everything.

again, naiiyak na naman sya. everything was so frustrating.

_"kyungs? nausea, mood swings... aren't those signs of pregnancy? you, throwing up every morning is morning sickness. i'm not a doctor but it will take an ounce of common sense to figure it all out. you told me you're not using contraceptives anymore."_

sa dami ng sinabi ni baekhyun, isa lang ang naintindihan at nag-sink in kay kyungsoo.

pregnancy.

bumilis ang tibok ng puso nya, humigpit ang kapit nya sa telepono. pakiramdam nya sinasakal sya dahil sa kawalan ng hangin sa sistema. humarap si kyungsoo sa body mirror at pinagmasdan ang tiyan. he lifted his shirt and caressed his tummy with shaky hand.

the cravings. the sensitivity. the vomiting every morning. the fatigue. the _pants_.

_"do you have extra pants? yung maliit na sa'yo."_

_"bakit? hindi na kasya?"_

_"no. i tried three slacks already and fuck, don't look at me like that. i know mataba na 'ko."_

"baekhyun... i'm scared. paano kung tama ka?" there's a tear or two fell on kyungsoo's cheeks. hindi nya alam kung dahil sa takot o dahil sa fact na may panibagong buhay na nabubuo sa katawan nya. tinitigan ulit ni kyungsoo ang reflection sa salamin, specifically sa bandang tiyan nya. he let out a shuddered breath.

_"eh ano naman kung tama ako? bakit ka matatakot, kyungsoo eh hindi ka naman nabuntis ng kung sino lang."_

"kahit na! paano kung...kung ayaw pa ni jongin? kung hindi pa sya ready? i don't know what i'm gonna do."

_"kung hindi sya ready, mas lalo ka na. at kung iiwan ka nya, then it's his loss. ayaw mo nun, at least alam mong hindi ka mapupunta sa iresponsableng lalaki."_ baekhyun has a point. kung sakaling nakabuo nga sila at hindi panindigan ni jongin ang bata, mas mabuti na nga lang siguro na tapusin ang engagement nila at huwag nang ituloy ang kasal.

_"i'm gonna pick you up. kung gusto mo ibibili kita sa drugstore ng pregnancy test para malaman mo na, then we'll go to the hospital to confirm it."_ baekhyun added. kyungsoo murmured an _okay_ bago nya ibaba ang telepono. wala pang 20 minutes ay nakarating na agad si baekhyun sa apartment nila, handling three different brands of pregnancy tests.

kahit kinakabahan at medyo nasusuka, kyungsoo went inside the bathroom and used all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sana satisfied kau feedback :(((  
> hit me up: [twitter](https://twitter.com/baekaeri06) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/baekaeri06)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you miss milla for pushing me to write this huhuhu. sana nabigyan ko ng hustisya! 
> 
> sana satisfied kau feedback :(((  
> hit me up: [twitter](https://twitter.com/baekaeri06) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/baekaeri06)


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